What is mindfulness?
You may have heard about mindfulness, but what is it really? Is it sitting cross-legged and clearing your mind completely? Is it being totally calm and unbothered? Nope!
To put it simply, mindfulness is awareness. When you are being mindful, you are intentionally bringing all your awareness to the present moment. This means bringing our attention to what you see, what you feel, and how and what you are thinking. You do this practice without trying to hold onto or change what is happening – this is often easier said than done! Learning mindfulness is a practice. The goal is not to do it perfectly, but to simply practice focusing your attention on what is happening and experiencing the moment without judging it. This can be uncomfortable at times, and overtime you may find yourself feeling more in control over your reactions. Mindfulness can help you think before you respond, therefore giving you more choices.
Goals of mindfulness practice
- Reduce suffering and increase happiness. Often, anxiety comes from focusing on the past or what you think is coming in the future. Being in the present is a gift that can relieve some of that anxiety.
- Decrease reactivity. Mindfulness practice can help you understand your thoughts and feelings. This can help slow down your automatic reactions, notice what caused your reaction, and be intentional about choosing how to react to a situation in a more effective way.
- Increase control over your mind. When left unchecked, your anxiety, anger, or other emotions can really rule or drive your reactions and behaviors toward others. Mindfulness allows you to get back into the driver’s seat by decreasing overwhelming interpretations about your life experiences.
- Experience reality as it is. You may often see your life with shadows of the past obscuring it. With mindfulness, you are practicing seeing what is happening right now, right in front of you, without bringing past thoughts like: “well it happened in the past, so that means it’s going to happen again” into the current moment.
“What” Skills – what to do to stay mindful
In DBT, we teach the “what skills” to show you how to practice mindfulness. The “what skills” are Observe, Describe and Participate. You will find descriptions of each skill below, as well as ways to practice them. Give it a try and see what happens!
Observe
Observing is all about noticing what is happening in the present moment. For example, you can pay attention to your body sensations and your senses right now. Pay attention on purpose. Control your attention. Instead of pushing away or clinging to what is happening around you, instead observe your internal and external reactions to the moment.
Practice Activities
- Stop and listen. What sounds do you hear? What sounds are close? What sounds are far away? Try to notice pitch and texture of the sounds. Listen to spaces between sounds.
- Lay on the ground and notice clouds going by, only observing what you see.
- Go outside and walk slowly, noticing what you can see: people, trees, flowers, animals, etc. How are they moving?
- Observe an urge to do something. Notice where in your body the urge comes from. Instead of acting on the urge, “surf” the urge like you are riding a wave. Let the wave of the urge decrease before acting on it.
- Observe your breath. Is it shallow and quick? Long and full? Focus on the movement of your stomach as you breathe in and out. Notice the pause when your lungs are full of air. Notice the pause after you breathe all the way out. Let your body “breathe”.
Describe
Describing means factually labeling your current experience. When a feeling or thought comes up, acknowledge it. “I am having a thought about…”, “I am feeling…”, “I am feeling my stomach muscles tightening”. Factually label what you observe. Label your thoughts as thoughts, feelings as feelings, actions as actions. Focus on just the facts. Describe the who, what, where, and when of the situation. Try to separate your interpretations and opinions from the facts. An important note: if it’s not something you’re observing through one of your senses, it isn’t the describing skill.
Practice Activities
- Lie on the ground and watch the clouds in the sky. Look for patterns and describe what you see without judgements.
- Try describing your breathing – when inhaling, be aware “I am inhaling”, when exhaling be aware “I am exhaling”. Count each inhale and exhale until you get to ten and then start over again, and start again at number one anytime you get distracted from counting.
- Sit on a bench or at a park, and factually describe one thing about each person that walks by.
- Factually describe a person’s face. Notice and describe the shape, movement, and placement of their forehead, eyebrows, eyes, lips, mouth, cheeks, and so on.
Participate
Participating means throwing yourself completely into the activities of the current moment. Do not separate yourself from what is currently happening (dancing, cleaning, talking to a friend, feeling happy or sad). Do your best to become one with whatever you are doing, completely forgetting yourself and focusing your attention on the moment. In this, act intuitively from your wise mind (check out our post on wise mind here). Do what is needed in each situation, like a skillful dancer on the dance floor – be one with the music and your partner, neither willful nor sitting on your hands. Go with the flow. Respond with spontaneity.
Practice Activities
- Dance to music, allowing yourself to be totally present and involved.
- Sing your favorite song.
- Listen completely when someone else is talking. Stay present in their words.
- Play a sport or go for a run. Try to lose yourself in the moment!
One of the great things about these skills is they can be practiced just about anywhere. Do yourself a favor and try a few of these practices out this week and notice what happens. Does it help you feel more grounded and in control? Are you able to meet what’s happening with more ease? Check it out and look for our next post on DBT Mindfulness “How Skills” coming to you soon!